


Yet Another Smash Chatfic

by PeanuutFlower



Series: SSB Crack [1]
Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Bromance, Careful Children That's a lot of Headcanons, Censored Swearing, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Marriage Proposal, May contain spoilers for various games, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smash Mansion, Smashville, Stupid Debates, Swearing, World of Light (Super Smash Brothers), cliches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23376760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeanuutFlower/pseuds/PeanuutFlower
Summary: After the events of World of Light, Master Hand thinks up a new initiative to get the fighters to eventually talk about what happened.And he crosses his fingers for the whole thing not to go as badly as he envisioned it.
Relationships: Chrom/My Unit | Reflet | Robin/My Unit | Reflet | Robin, Hero | Luminary (Dragon Quest XI)/Persona 5 Protagonist, Inkling(s) (Splatoon)/Nana (Ice Climber), King Dedede/Meta Knight, Kirby (Kirby)/Purin | Jigglypuff, Otacon/Solid Snake, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Pac-Man/Ms. Pac-Man, Pit (Kid Icarus)/Rockman | Mega Man, Princess Daisy/Luigi, Samus Aran/Bayonetta (Bayonetta)
Series: SSB Crack [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982794
Comments: 9
Kudos: 64





	1. World Of Chat

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there !  
> If you're reading this, first of all thanks for having clicked on the fic.  
> Second of all, you might be wondering why I am writing a Smash Bros chatfic in this year of 2020.  
> Well one of the reasons is: I am, _extremely, painfully, **bored**_.
> 
> And since I don't want you to be bored as well, I'll just ~~shut up and~~ leave you to your reading.  
> 

_Public Chatroom_

_**mrmasterhand**_ added _**troublemaker**_ and _93 other users_ to _Public Chatroom_

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ added _**mrvideogames**_ and _11 other users_ to _OG Smash_

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ added **cakemom** and _14 other users_ to _Melee_

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ added **batman** and _17 other users_ to _Brawl_

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ added **donotcross** and _22 other users_ to _Sm4sh_

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ added **woomy** and _25 other user_ s to _Ultimate_

_**troublemaker**_ : NOW

LET THE FUN BEGIN!!!!

_**troublemaker**_ opened the chat

**iamspeed** : hewwo? :3

whats dis? OwO

 **miniboy** : Sonic, please don't.

But he's right, what's this?

Hey, why am I called miniboy?!!

 _ **troublemaker**_ : I CHOSE THE NAMES

SEE ITS FUNNY BECAUSE YOURE MEGAMAN

BUT NOW YOURE MINIBOY

HAHAHA!!!

 **miniboy** : Okay? But it doesn't answer my first question.

 _ **sens**_ °: it's a chatroom

can't you read?

did you forget how to?

you're spending too much time with pit dude

 **miniboy** : Thank you, who I'm guessing is Ness.

As a literal machine, I was indeed incapable of identifying that this was, indeed, a chatroom.

That can only be made possible by technology.

My systems are clear now, dear human savior.

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Well well

Someone sure is cranky today

 **iamspeed** : dont mind him

hes just low on battery again

u know how he gets

 **miniboy** : I am.

Right here.

 **iamspeed** : good 4 u bud

 **miniboy** : Nevermind that.

So, now for what I really wanted to know, what is its purpose?

 _ **sens**_ °: ooooh

that's what you wanted to know

you should have asked

 **iamspeed** : lil meg wont respond cause he says hes

and i quote

not in the mood rn

but i feel like i should tell you he groaned

very audibly

 **sunchild** : So will anyone finally answer the question?

Or else I'll join in with Rock.

 _ **sens**_ °: chill luke!

okay okay since you're all impatient I'll explain

tho we were supposed to wait for master hand to explain but

 **icyu** : Please just do it, or I'll be the next addition to the pissed off club.

 **2cool4u** : Seconded.

 **woomy** : are u the ice climbers?

 **2cool4u** : Yup.

 _ **sens**_ °: alright so the deal is

after our recent experience

master hand thought it'd be nice for us to have a place to chat and stuff

and maybe eventually talk about what happened

also see that little ° I have next to my name?

 **iamspeed** : ye

 **2cool4u** : Yeah.

 **icyu** : icy it. ;p

 _ **sens**_ °: that means I'm a mod

I have power over you guys

 **sunchild** : Oh no this is my worst nightmare come true.

 **iamspeed** : @mrmasterhand u made dis guy a mod?

oh wait does the @ thing work?

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : Yes it does.

I see Crazy Hand has opened the chat.

Contrary to my instructions...

And Ness has basically explained the gist of it, but I'll explain it in more detail.

1-This chat was indeed made primarly for you to talk amongst yourselves as cordially as possible, in the eventual goal that you would be able to open up and talk more freely about some experiences.

This goes for what happened during this installment, but also for the previous ones.

Needless to say, from previous experiences, I am absolutely ready for you to turn this into a trainwreck.

2- Despite the imminent chaos this will bring, I will still try to enforce some sort of order.

Namely with rules and designated chatrooms.

For instance, all swearing will be automatically censored.

 **iamspeed** : sh*t

 **wildcard** : sh*t

 **birb** : sh*t

 **thebestlink** : cr*p

hey that's no swear word!

oh hey, nice name I've got there

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : After 3 consecutive offences, the user will be muted, or kicked out for a set amount of time.

 **sunchild** : Oh, neato.

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : I have also attributed moderation duties to the original fighters for the moment.

They will be able to monitor this very chatroom.

But they wont be able to monitor other chatrooms unless they're a part of them.

Of course, Crazy Hand and myself will have access to all the chatrooms, public or not.

 **donotcross** : wait, does that mean we can create our own chatrooms?

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : Yes, that will be an added feature.

For the moment I'll be waiting for everyone to familiarize themselves with the interface.

Which reminds me...

@noticarus Is everything working out for you?

 **noticarus** *: Uh, I think so?

 _ **sens**_ °: is that Pit?

he can read now?

 _ **mrvideogames**_ °: No, the interface allows text-to-speech.

We've been showing how to use it to some of the fighters who'll need that feature.

 **hero*** : It's working on my part.

 **wildcard** : who's that?

 **hero*** : Eleven.

 **wildcard** : oh! Hey el, it's me, ren

 **hero*** : Oh! Ok, I'll try to remember that.

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : Duly noted, @hero

What about you, @belmontsbizarrequest ?

 **belmontsbizarrequest*** : Hang won.

A mute.

How does that masted think wok?

It's occult goo whack meet woke.

 **booyah** : lmao

 **starprincess** : What???

 _ **sens**_ °: can we get an F in the chat?

 **iamspeed** : f

 **icyu** : F

 **sunchild** : F

 **donotcross** : F

 **booyah** : f

 **woomy** : f

 **wildcard** : f

 _ **notzelda°**_ : F

 **punchin** : F

 **2cool4u** : F

 **snek** : F

 **wisegal** : F

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: F

 **roseshavethorns** : F

 **sansational** : f

 **noticarus*** : Simon? If that's you, are you okay?

You gotta keep your finger on the little round thing while you talk, and have to stand close to the thingie.

And you gotta try and talk loud and slow, even though it feels weird. And when you're done you just stop pushing on the round thing.

 **belmontsbizarrequest*** : Like this? Oh. I think.

I think I get hit.

Or not.

 **hero*** : Don't worry, you'll get it eventually.

Took me a few tries.

 **ourboi*** : Yeah, no kidding.

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : Ah, it appears not everyone has gotten the hang of it.

Then again, we were aware it would take some time for everyone to really access the chat and get accustomed to it.

 **starprincess** : Quick question: will there be emojis soon?

I like those.

 **ambells** : Oh, yes! Me too!

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : They should be implemented soon, a little bit at a time.

For now, try to do it the old way.

 **ken** : This chat sounds like a neat idea.

Not sure if I'm going to use it a lot though.

Might be too old for this.

 **ryu** : Hey wait a sec

Why do you have my name?

I'm Ken!

 **ken** : And I'm Ryu.

Hey Ken.

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: @troublemaker What's that about?

 _ **troublemaker**_ _ **:**_ HEHEHEHE

I JUST THOUGHT ITD BE FUNNY

AND I WAS RIGHT!!!

ITS HILARIOUS!!!

( _mrmasterhand_ gave this a _Smash_!)

**icyu** : What's that?

 **hiimdaisy** : yeah what's that?

 **wildcard** : what's what?

 **sunchild** : I guess she means that Smash thing.

 **wildcard** : oh yeah

I didnt see that

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : I'm glad you asked.

This feature allows you to give your approval to a message.

You just have to click on a message and select “Smash”.

( _iamspeed, wildcard, sunchild, hiimdaisy, icyu, punchin, notzelda_ and _9 other users_ gave this a _Smash_!)

**iamspeed** : ooooooh cool

 **sunchild:** neat!

 **booyah** : nice

 _ **sens**_ °: rad!

 **wildcard** : now thats a feature I will grow to like

 **wisegal** : was that a pun @winner?

 _ **winner**_ °: ?

 **wisegal** : Oh, sorry, I meant to @wildcard.

 **wildcard** : I guess? tbh I didn't really think about it.

 **ourboi*** : And now to figure out how to do that.

 **punchin** : Aw, Roy, we'll help you out if you want.

 **noticarus*** : I'll need help too!

 **icyu** : Don't worry Pit, we'll help you out too!

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : And with that out of the way I'll leave you to it.

_**mrmasterhand**_ opened the chat in _OG Smash_

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ opened the chat in _Melee_

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ opened the chat in _Brawl_

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ opened the chat in _Sm4sh_

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ opened the chat in _Ultimate_

_**mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : If you have any more questions, feel free to @ me.

In the days to come, more things will be added, and we'll communicate on the features.

Feel free to refer to the _User List_ if you need to know who's who.

 _ **mrvideogames**_ °: And remember to behave! We'll be watching you!

 **hiimdaisy** : likely

 **batman** : Have a little faith Daisy.

 **hiimdaisy** : oh please

I may be new, but I heard the stories

 **donotcross** : this'll be great.

I just know it.

( _iamspeed, wildcard, sunchild, thebestlink, hiimdaisy, datbichywichy, wisegal_ and _14 other users_ gave this a _Smash_!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, if you made it there, thanks for reading!  
> I hope it was enjoyable so far!
> 
> Don't hesitate to leave a comment if you wish to leave criticism or something. _(I like comments)_  
>  I'll also allow for peeps to share their ideas, I might not pick them up, but if I do I'll give credit where credit is due.
> 
> Now for the boring stuff:
> 
> -This fanfic is, of course, really, _really_ self-indulgent.  
> It's also why I chose the chatfic format, as the regular format just doesn't work when I try to do stuff for fun, since I always end up writing a novel. _Which is kinda not the point of those._  
>  -The chapters will most likely vary in length and quality, depending on my motivation/inspiration atm.  
> -You may have noticed this fic has a lot of ships listed. Truth is, I intend to keep this gen for the most part.  
> But since I'm an idiot, there will inevitably be chapters that focus on one of those ships, and if they do, I'll be sure to **put a warning in the notes** of said chapter. _That way you'll be able to skip all the nonsensical mushy stuff!_  
>  -The last chapter will always be the **_User List_**.
> 
> Sorry for the wall of text, I just needed to set some things straight. ^^"  
> Anyway, thanks again, and have a nice day or night !


	2. A Civil Disagreement

_Public Chatroom_

**imnotrevalidangit** : scr*w you @falconpunch

 _ **mrvideogames°**_ : Whoa there, careful with the swearing. This is the public chat.

 _ **falconpunch°**_ : @imnotrevalidangit Not interested, birdbrain

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : Gentlemen, what seems to be the problem?

 **imnotrevalidangit** : he stole my parking space!

 _ **falconpunch°**_ : First come, first serve my friend

Guess you just weren't fast enough

 **imnotrevalidangit** : I ain't your buddy, buddy

 **snek** : Why don't you go park somewhere else?

 **imnotrevalidangit** : you don't understand! this parking space is the best there is around these parts!

 _ **falconpunch°**_ : Hence why only the best should take it

 **imnotrevalidangit** : @falconpunch you looked into a mirror lately?

 _ **falconpunch°**_ : Shut it, Melee newcomer

 **imnotrevalidangit** : hey!

 _ **mrvideogames°**_ : Come on now, I'm sure we can reach an agreement somehow... how about a race? @mrmasterhand

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : Honestly, I don't see why not.

We would just need to decide on where to hold it.

Preferably somewhere safe, where no one could get hurt but the participants.

 **imnotrevalidangit** : wow, how considerate

 _ **starfox°**_ : Falco, please don't aggravate him.

 **starprincess** : How about Rainbow Road?

There's never anyone around these parts.

A shame, really. The view is lovely.

 **hiimdaisy** : yeah it sure is

when youre not fallin to your death that is

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ **°** : Very good proposition, Rosalina.

It's decided then. The race between Falco Lombardi and Captain Falcon for that one parking space they apparently want really badly, will be held on Rainbow Road.

See you there soon.

 **iamspeed** : sweet!

 **roseshavethorns** : ugh I live for that kind of drama.

 _ **sens**_ **°** : I don't get these adult problems

 **iamspeed** : same

 **miniboy** : I do.

I hate going to the supermarket and find all my favorite parking spots are taken.

 **iamspeed** : wait a sec

aren't you like

younger than most of us?

 **miniboy** : Yeah, and?

 **icyu** : And you drive a car?

 **miniboy** : I'm a robot.

 **iamspeed** : that doesn't explain it bud

 **noticarus*** : Is that really surprising? I mean I drive vehicles too.

 **birb** : @iamspeed pretty sure you also drive a car sometimes

also pretty sure your lil bro drives planes around on top of that

 **iamspeed** : @birb u got me there

but tails is a special case

(n he crashes them)

(a lot)

as for me

yeah i do but

just to race and stuff

i don't use it to go shopping and drive among civilians

 **snek** : Thank the heavens for that.

 **woomy** : @miniboy hey do u hav ur car with u rn?

 **miniboy** : No, it's my father's, so it's back home.

Why?

 **woomy** : ah shoot

hoped u could drive us around n stuff

 _ **sens°**_ : oh yeah, that would be so dope!

 **2cool4u** : Hey didn't Pit just say he could drive too?

 **woomy** : oh right!

@noticarus?

 **noticarus*** : I don't have them right now, but I could always ask Lady Palutena.

@literalgoddess

 **literalgoddess** : And that's an absolute no from me. ;)

 **woomy** : awww :c

 **icyu** : Boooh! You made an Inkling sad!

 **2cool4u** : Not cool.

 _ **sens**_ **°** : tbh now Im sad too

 **donotcross** : so when does the race start?

 **wildcard** : Should be starting soon.

I'm spying on the hands.

 **stillfeelingit** : You probably shouldn't say that on the public chat then.

Right?

 **wildcard** : Whatever, pretty sure they already know I'm there anyways.

 _ **troublemaker**_ : YUP!!!! WE BEEN KNEW!!!!

 **wildcard** : See?

 **punchin** : ...

Are you telling me I have to move around town with a bicyle, but these children casually drive motorized vehicles?

 **wildcard** : yup. life sucks, uh?

 **punchin** : It does.

 **iamspeed** : race is about 2 start my dudes!

 _ **sens**_ **°** : bring in the popcorn!

 **booyah** : oh im so betting on @falconpunch to win

 **roseshavethorns** : my money's on @imnotrevalidangit

his pettiness might just be what makes him win.

 **wisegal** : @stillfeelingit any clues?

 **stillfeelingit** : Please stop asking me to use my powers for stuff like that.

 **wisegal** : But that's the only reason we keep you around.

( _notzelda_ , _bigheart_ , _toomanynames_ and _wildcard_ gave this a _Smash_!)

**stillfeelingit** : I feel used.

 **girlmarth** *: Do not worry Shulk. We still appreciate your company.

( _wisegal_ , _notzelda_ , _bigheart_ , _toomanynames, corn, eleven, wildcard_ and _iamspeed_ gave this a _Smash_! _)_

**stillfeelingit** : Oh, what joy.

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ **°** : Your attention, please.

The race is officially starting in 3

2

1

* * *

_Public Chatroom_

**imnotrevalidangit** : ah sh*t!

how did I lose?!

 _ **falconpunch°**_ : If I had to guess

By losing

 **imnotrevalidangit** : once again, scr*w you

 _ **falconpunch°**_ : Now then, time to claim my rightful spot

Hold on

What the

@notmetroid

 **iamspeed** : lmmaaaaaaaaao

 **roseshavethorns** : x'D

 **sunchild** : Uh oh... ^^”

 **noticarus*** : Wow. Just wow.

 **wildcard** : oh this is great

 **woomy** : oh this

this is beautiful

 **wisegal** : I can't rn.

brb

 **punchin** : @wisegal don't you die on us

 **girlmarth** *: Wait, what is going on exactly?

 _ **sens**_ °: @falconpunch went to park the Blue Falcon

but @notmetroid had just landed her ship on the parking space

 **donotcross** : THE parking space?

 **miniboy** : Yes, that one.

 **stillfeelingit** : lol

 _ **mrvideogames**_ °: Guess that definitely settles it then?

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ _ **°**_ : I agree. Let's call it a day.

 _ **notmetroid**_ **°** : @falconpunch What? First come, first serve.

 _ **falconpunch°**_ : @imnotrevalidangit See? I was right

 **imnotrevalidangit** : oh f*ck off

[ _imnotrevalidangit_ has been muted. _No swearing in this chat!_ ]


	3. Colors Galore

_Blue Team_

_**iamspeed**_ created _Chatroom 9_

 _ **iamspeed**_ renamed _Chatroom 9_ to _Blue Team_

 _ **iamspeed**_ added _**miniboy**_ and 16 other people to _Blue Team_

 _ **iamspeed**_ made _**miniboy**_ a moderator for this chat

 _ **iamspeed**_ opened the chat

**2cool4u** : Ok?

 **stopcallingmegoku** : Interesting.

 **starprincess** : Oh, that's nice. (◕▽◕)

 **booyah** : oh cool

how did u do dat???

 _ **iamspeed:**_ let me keep my secrets a bit longer

 _ **miniboy**_ : You mean my secrets?

 _ **iamspeed**_ : u shared em with me

theyre mine now

 _ **miniboy**_ : Fair enough.

Why did you add Samus and the Wii Fit trainers?

 _ **iamspeed**_ : why not?

they wear blue

kinda

 _ **miniboy**_ : Oh. I see.

Why didn't you add Link and most of the Fire Emblems then?

 **2cool4u** : The Fire Emblems?

Oh right, they have blue hair.

And I guess Roy kinda counts too if we're talking clothes.

 _ **iamspeed**_ : eeeeeeh

i hav my reasons

 _ **miniboy**_ : …

 _ **iamspeed**_ : rock

dont

please dont

_**miniboy**_ added **ourboi** and _4 other users_ to _Blue Team_

_**iamspeed**_ : dang it

mutiny already

pls tell me u didnt add link

dat guy belongs to da greens

with yoshi n luigi

he shall not pass

 _ **miniboy**_ : I didn't.

 _ **iamspeed**_ : oh good

da spicy mlms can stay

but only bcs i like roy

 **ourboi*** : You weren't going to add me at first?

I'm hurt.

 _ **iamspeed**_ : noooooooo

i wanted to but like

u guys are plenty

enough to get a chatroom of ur own

i mean were 23 now

dats a lot

 **booyah** : tbh I dont think a lot of the peeps you've added will use dat chat

no offense

 _ **iamspeed**_ : oh i know i know

i jus didnt wan anyone to feel left out

 **ourboi*** : Yeah, right.

 _ **iamspeed**_ : roy look im sorry ok

pls forgive me

 **ourboi*** : I'm always forgotten.

It stinks man.

It stinks.

 _ **iamspeed**_ : roy nooooo

bby ilu

pls dont be mad

 **ourboi*** : No really Sonic, this is the last straw.

I'm really going to break up with you this time.

 **jojoreject*** : Wait, you guys are dating?

 _ **miniboy**_ : Hey Richter.

And welcome to the wonderful world of dry humor, nihilism and sarcasm.

Also there's bromance.

 **jojoreject*** : Okay?

If you don't mind me asking, who's this?

 _ **miniboy**_ : Rock. Or Mega Man. Whichever you remember best.

 **jojoreject*** : Oh, alright, thank you Rock.

So, you're really not dating?

 _ **iamspeed**_ : nah fam is jus a joke

 **jojoreject*** : Oh.

 _ **iamspeed**_ : truth is am datin rock rn

 **jojoreject*** : Really?

 _ **iamspeed**_ : ye

das why we been spendin time together n stuff

time 2 catch up dude

 **jojoreject*** : Oh.

Well, um, I hope everything is going well for you both?

 **booyah** : lmao

 **2cool4u** : Sonic pls spare him.

 **starprincess** : I didn't know you two were dating?

 **ourboi*** : Sonic, please, even poor Rosalina is falling for it.

 _ **miniboy**_ : OH.

MY.

GOD.

Shut up.

No, we're not dating, we never were, and never will be.

 _ **iamspeed**_ : ouch

my kokoro hurts

who knew u could be so cruel

u know i bet some peeps think wed mak a cute couple

 **jojoreject*** : Oh so that was also a joke?

 _ **iamspeed**_ : ye man soz abt dat

ur jus fun to mess with

 **booyah** : so uh

whats dis chat's purpose

 _ **iamspeed**_ : its jus 2 chill

among blue peeps

away from all those heathens

 _ **miniboy**_ : They're not all bad!

 _ **iamspeed**_ : lil meg

u sweet summer child

blue is the only color u can trust

 **batman** : I second that.

Pink and Red are the most treacherous of colors, by the way.

( _iamspeed_ gave this a _Smash_!)

_**miniboy**_ : My siblings and my dog are red!

 **stopcallingmegoku** : rip

 _ **iamspeed**_ : f

 **2cool4u** : f

 **ourboi*** : F

 **booyah** : f

sucks 2 be u I guess

 **2cool4u** : tbh my sister is pink, and it only adds to the proof.

 _ **miniboy**_ : >:(

Whatever, I'm going back to the public chat.

See you.

 _ **iamspeed**_ : lil meg nooooo

we were spposed 2 do dis together

dont leaaaave

 **batman** : Ah, bitter betrayal.

How I pity you.

 **starprincess** : But it's really nice of you boys to have made this little chatroom of yours! \\(^w^)✨

 _ **iamspeed**_ : thx rosa

hope youll stick around

 **starprincess** : Oh, most definitely.

This sounds like fun. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

 _ **iamspeed**_ : wlp i gtg now

theres some stuff happening in da public chat

i wanna see what its all abt

 **starprincess** : Alright, I might join in on the chaos later! Bye for now! ( ˘ ³˘)♥

 **batman** : How do you do that?

 **starprincess** : What?

 **batman** : Those little drawings.

 **starprincess** : The smileys?

Oh, they're pretty simple to do once you got the hang of it. \\(^.^)/

 **batman** : Uh.

I have no idea how to do that.

 **starprincess** : I could always show you!

 **2cool4u** : ugh

Old people talking about smileys

brrrr

 **starprincess** : Hey! Not everyone knows how to do that kind of stuff, and it's perfectly fine. At least Meta Knight is willing to give it a try.

So, in short:

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

Deal with it.

 **booyah** : roasted @2cool4u

 **2cool4u** : ssssssssssssssshhhhh

Shut your mouth @booyah

 **ourboi*** : Don't listen to him, Rosalina. Your smileys are really cute and I'm sure Sir Meta Knight will greatly appreciate your help.

 **starprincess** : Thank you Roy.

Now I'm off to see what is going on in the public chat. ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

* * *

_Public Chatroom_

**cakemom** : Pink!

 **sansational** : Yup, pink.

 **roseshavethorns** : it's obviously pink.

 **sunchild** : No it's not!

 **hero*** : @wildcard It couldn't be more grey.

 **wildcard** : and I'm telling you it's pink

 **stillfeelingit** : No! It's clearly grey!

 **wisegal:** Yup. Shulk and Eleven are right. It's grey.

 ** _notzelda_ °**: well excuuuuse me princess but it's pink.

 **noticarus*** : It's beige!

 **iamspeed** : wtf pit

no its not

its pink

 **hiimdaisy** : yes, it's pink!

 _ **sens**_ °: it's pink

end of discussion

 **miniboy** : Honestly, from my point of view, all your answers are valid, but go off I guess.

 **thesavior** : @miniboy w o r d.

 **noticarus*** : I'm seeing it as beige!

 **icyu** : Pit, everyone is seeing it as pink.

 **mygrampsarat*** : @icyu I think you meant grey.

 **icyu** : Nah, pretty sure I meant pink.

 _ **sens**_ °: yeah she meant pink

 **moronlover** : Point is, nobody else but Pit sees it as beige.

 **starprincess** : What is going on?

 **datbichywichy** : Ah, Rosalina, good, you're here.

Could you tell those heathens that this shoe is grey?

Thank you.

 **starprincess** : What shoe?

 _ **notmetroid**_ **°** : Scroll up. There should be a picture of a shoe.

And for your information, @datbichywichy, it's pink.

Like Kirby pink.

( _sens, hiimdaisy, cakemom, iamspeed, icyu_ and _notzelda_ gave this a _Smash_!)

**starprincess** : Oh, I see.

 **wildcard** : so?

 **iamspeed** : soooo?

 **mygrampsarat*** : What do you see?

 **hiimdaisy** : it's pink, right?

 **starprincess** : Beige.

It's beige. (._.)

 **noticarus*** : Yes!

I knew it!

 **iamspeed** : tf

rosa ur kiddin rite

 **starprincess** : No I don't. It's beige.

I see a little bit of grey and pink, but it's beige. Or maybe it's pink and the picture was taken at night.

 **woomy** : yo wassup my dudes

 **punchin** : @woomy please answer.

 **woomy** : ?

oh

hey thatd make 4 a nice splatfest theme

I think @starprincess is right

looks beige but probs cus taken at night or sum

 **wisegal** : You've got to be kidding me.

 **datbichywichy** : Have we really been fighting over some shoe's color for half an hour?

 **hero*** : Yes. We have.

 **punchin** : I mean what else do you do on a saturday night.

 **wildcard:** go us

 _ **mrvideogames**_ °: Speaking of colors.

What's that new chatroom that I'm apparently not invited in?

 **iamspeed** : soz mario

blue peeps only

n ur 2 red for dat

 **soundofsilence** : …

 **icyu** : Wait, you guys managed to make a private chatroom?

 **iamspeed** : yup

blue team

as the name suggests

only blue is allowed

 **icyu** : Aw.

 _ **mrvideogames**_ °: And how did you make it?

 **iamspeed** : meg found out how 2 make one

he showed me

n i made one

dats it

 _ **mrvideogames**_ °: Oh, so the Hands still haven't officially shared how to make them?

Good, I thought I had missed something.

 **iamspeed** : nah fam u good

 **miniboy** : Wait a second...

I just realized something.

 **wisegal** : What is it?

 **miniboy** : When Sonic created Blue Team.

It was called Chatroom 9.

 **sansational** : So?

 **miniboy** : Okay so,

the Hands may have a private chat to talk about stuff, right?

 **ourboi*** : Yeah?

 **treehugger** : I mean I guess they would.

 **sunchild** : That would make sense.

 **wisegal** : Definitely.

 **miniboy** : That'd be chatroom 1.

 **wildcard** : ooooooh

I think I see where this is going

 **snek** : Me too.

Go on kiddo.

 **miniboy** : Okay, this chatroom would be Chatroom 2.

OG Smash would be 3.

Melee would be 4.

Brawl would be 5.

Sm4sh would be 6.

And Ultimate would be 7.

 **iamspeed:** and?

 _ **sens**_ °: yeah what's wrong with that?

 **sansational:** Oh boy this about to get good!

 **miniboy** : Sonic made Chatroom 9. Not 8. 9.

( _sansational, snek, wildcard, iamspeed, noticarus, woomy, notmetroid_ and _29 other users_ gave this a _Smash_!)

**wisegal** : Ooooooh!

 _ **sens**_ °: you freakin genius!

 **sunchild** : He cracked the code!

 **notzelda** : nice.

 **woomy** : MINDBLOWN!

 **hiimdaisy** : holy sh*t.

 **woomy** : u might be on 2 somethin

 **thesavior** : o n c e a g a i n p r o o f t h a t r o b o t s a r e s u p e r i o r.

 **cakemom** : Maybe they created a separate chatroom for the mods?

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: No way. OG Smash currently serves as that.

 **waccawacca** : Oh boy, SECRET CHATROOM!

 ** _snek_** : What could this mean though?

 _ **mrvideogames**_ °: I haven't got the faintest idea. We weren't informed of that fact.

@mrmasterhand

 **roseshavethorns** : ooooooh, conspiracies! I like it!

 **datbichywichy** : Finally, something interesting.

* * *

_Matters of Hands_

_ **mrmasterhand** _°: My dearest brother.

Perhaps you could shed some light on what exactly is going on with the chatrooms' numbers?

 _ **troublemaker** _: HAHAHA

I DONT SEE WHAT YOU MEAN

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: Crazy, I wont repeat myself.

Where is Chatroom 8, and what else are you hiding from me?

 _ **troublemaker** _: UGH OK ILL ADMIT IT

I CREATED A CHATROOM WITHOUT TELLING YOU

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: And may I inquire why?

 _ **troublemaker** _: ITS JUST A FUN LIL EXPERIMENT

NOTHING MORE

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: Interesting.

Could you share the details of that experiment of yours?

 _ **troublemaker** _: NO WAY BRO!

YOULL JUST TELL ME MY IDEA SUCKS

YOU ALWAYS DO

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: Crazy, you know I've been more accepting of your ideas as of late.

As asinine as they can be, some of them have proved to be quite fun and loved by all.

But you can't just do something without my approval.

It's our duty to make sure the fighters we've taken from their worlds can return home safely.

Else we risk putting their world in danger.

 _ **troublemaker** _: I KNOW I KNOW

NOT LIKE YOURE GOOD AT THAT ANYWAY

ALWAYS GETTING POSSESSED AND KIDNAPPED AND STUFF

GEE YOURE WORSE THAN PEACH AND ZELDA AT THAT POINT

NO WAIT SCRATCH THAT

YOURE MORE LIKE DEDEDE

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: I

Okay

Well

Anyway, if this experiment of yours doesn't pose any threats to our fighter's lives and integrity, I guess I can let you have your little fun.

But you have to promise me that this isn't going to put anyone in harm's way.

 _ **troublemaker** _: UUUUH

DO I REALLY HAVE TO PROMISE

LIKE

PINKY PROMISE?

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: Crazy.

 _ **troublemaker** _: MASTY

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: I thought I told you to stop calling me that.

But that's besides the point.

What are you planning?

 _ **troublemaker** _: I TOLD YOU ITS JUST FOR FUN

I WANNA JUST

DO SOMETHING BY MYSELF FOR ONCE

LOOK I CANT PROMISE NOBODY WILL GET HURT

BUT WHAT I CAN PROMISE IS THAT IF SOMETHING BAD EVER HAPPENS

AND IT SHOULDNT

ILL DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO FIX IT

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: That's not reassuring at all but...

Knowing you, you probably won't give up on your idea, and I'd rather it be something I can remotely be aware of than having you plan a new, more secret and potentially more dangerous scheme, so...

Despite my apprehension...

 _ **troublemaker** _: YOULL LET ME DO IT?!!!!

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: Yes.

You have my permission.

So long as you keep your promise.

 _ **troublemaker** _: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!

OH JOY!!!

BROTHER I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: I love you too.

But please, do try to keep your not-so-secret schemes to a minimum.

 _ **troublemaker** _: WILL DO!

OH AND

QUICK QUESTION

HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: Mega Man figured it out.

After he and Sonic created a new chatroom.

 _ **troublemaker** _: OH?!!!

THAT ROBOTS PRETTY CLEVER

INTERESTING

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: ?

 _ **troublemaker** _: NEVERMIND!

ANYWAY THANK YOU AGAIN BRO!

 _ **mrmasterhand** _°: No problem.

But please, should anything go wrong.

Do try to seek me out.

…

I don't want you in harm's way either.

 _ **troublemaker** _: DAAAAWWW!!!

YOU ABSOLUTE SAP!!!


	4. The Hedgie Exposed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good News: posting that other crackfic _did_ motivate me to update that one.

_Public Chatroom_

_**mrvideogames**_ °: Good job on your match @iamspeed!

 **iamspeed** : { _redacted}_

thanks man!

 **birb** : wait what did that say

 **iamspeed** : what did what say

 **birb:** the redacted text

 **iamspeed** : nothin special, just a typo

 **prankey** : _[thehedgieexposed]_ @iamspeed a typo, really?

( _birb_ , _wildcard_ and _15 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**wildcard** : Holy sh*t.

 **miniboy** : Awww, you called him dad!

 **icyu** : This is so cute

 **iamspeed** : its fake!

its clearly fake!

its just a conspiracy to slanderize my good character!

 **snek** : Don't worry, you don't need a conspiracy to do that.

( _wildcard_ , _notmetroid_ and _5 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**noticarus*** : A what to what your what?

( _woomy_ and tip gave this a _Smash!_ )

**miniboy** : @noticarus A plot to destroy his rep.

( _noticarus_ and _iamspeed_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**noitcarus*** : Oh! Thanks!

@iamspeed Don't worry, it doesn't make you look bad!

I called Lady Palutena mom once, and the only one who said anything about it was her.

 ** _notmetroid_ °**: And she was not really happy with that, iirc.

 **noticarus*** : Yeah...

 **tip*** : @noticarus That was one of the most painful second-hand embarrassement you've made me feel.

And that's saying a lot.

 **woomy** : yeah it doesn't make him look bad! And plus i did that too with @snek!

 **sunchild** : Really? What did he say?

 **woomy** : nothing

he just went back under his box

 **sunchild** : Oh.

I accidentally called @notmetroid mom a week ago

And she started crying.

( _woomy_ , _datbichywichy_ and 7 _other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

_**notmetroid**_ **°** : I did no such thing.

 **datbichywichy** : Samus, it's okay to admit it.

It's endearing, even.

Am I right, @wildcard?

 **wildcard** : …

don't expose me like that

( _hero_ , _notzelda_ and _2 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**iamspeed** : okay ur stories are cute I can give u dat

but

BUT

are in no way related to my case

clearly @prankey photoshopped his screenshot

 **birb** : oh really?

 **iamspeed** : really

 **wildcard** : what was the original text then?

 **prankey** : yeah give us the proof

 **iamspeed** : ugh

u guys are a mess

it's not even interesting or anything

i just wrote

thanks mad!

n felt stupid

ther u hav it

now leave me alone

 **roseshavethorns** :oh. I was hoping for something a bit more spicy.

too bad.

at least I got some interesting info on some of y'all.

 **sunchild** : Oh boy.

 **birb** : well that was fun while it lasted

@prankey, pleasure working with you

 **prankey** : likewise

 _ **mrvideogames**_ °: What is going on in there?

_(prankey, birb_ and _16 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**wildcard** : oh hey mario

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Just scroll up.

You missed some stuff.

( _sunchild_ , _rosehavethorns_ and _14 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

_**mrvideogames**_ °: Really? Hang on, I'll read the messages.

( _wildcard_ , _miniboy_ and _19 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**iamspeed** : oh boy

( _notmetroid_ , _punchin_ and _16 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

_**mrvideogames**_ °: Oh! No problem Sonic.

As for the other thing, dont worry about it.

Even if that had been true, I wouldn't have held it against you.

I mean...

You can't spell Sonic without son!

( _birb_ , _snek_ and _22 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**birb** : hfjdkfjhs

 **woomy** : oh no! puns!

 **miniboy** : He's making dad jokes now. We're doomed.

 **sunchild** : He became a dad!

 **wildcard** : @prankey what did you do

 **prankey** : my best

( _birb_ , _wildcard_ and _19 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, hope you liked this chapter! (even tho it was short, I know)
> 
> Here's to hoping I'll post more soon! ^^


	5. Ridley Me Diss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains some luminjoker _(Hero|Luminary/Joker)_ as well as some hints for bayosamus _(Bayonetta/Samus Aran)_ and megapit _(Mega Man|Rockman/Pit)_

_Public Chatroom_

**starprincess** : Hey, could anyone explain why a space pirate dragon is trying to hide in my observatory? (._.)”

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: There's a new tourney coming up.

 **starprincess** : And?

 **bigbad** : yeah, what's the big deal?

Ridley could kick anyone's *ss

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Well, sure, but his first opponent is Pit.

 **wildcard** : aaaaaand?

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: To be honest.

I think Ridley is afraid of Pit.

 **treehugger** : Afraid of

of Pit

Pit

A literal angel

with two wings

One of the least intimidating people I've ever encountered

Seriously?

 **starprincess** : Cloud is right, he is like a feathered puppy. o(ﾟ▽ﾟ)o

Who would be afraid of that?

 **wisegal** : Well I mean...

He did hand Ridley's butt over to him during the inaugural tourney.

 **wildcard** : oh right, he did

how tf did he do that btw?

 **punchin** : That's the power of a fanboy.

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Uh?

 **hero*** : I don't get it?

 **wildcard** : america explain

 **punchin** : Look, the kid is completely obsessed with Mario and Mega Man, right?

 ** _notzelda_ °**: yeah

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: He sure is.

 **cakemom** : I remember in Brawl he would always follow Mario around just like a puppy.

It was adorable.

 **wisegal** : Ooooh! It was! And poor Mario was so embarrassed!

But the way Pit's been acting around Rock lately has been even more adorable!

 **ambells** : Aw! ^^

I am almost bummed I missed all of this!

 **bigbad** : oh spare me the fluff

it's f*cking creepy and you know it

 **starprincess** : You're just jealous you don't have anyone singing your praises everyday. ( ˘ ³˘)♥

 **bigbad** : I

no

 **hero*** : @punchin So what is your point?

 **punchin** : Well, who did Ridley hurt when he was first recruited?

 **starprincess** : Oh! (°[]°)

 **hero*** : Oooooooh.

 **wildcard** : oh, ok, I see what you mean now

 **treehugger:** Yeah, that makes sense

 **noticarus*** : I'm not adorable!

I'm the captain of Lady Palutena's army!

I've fought against monsters and gods!

 ** _notzelda_ °**: and yet, you still can't properly kick my butt

 **noticarus*** : I'll get you one day, Link!

 **treehugger** : Save that determination for your first opponent

 **noticarus*** : Uh?

Oh, right! Ridley!

 **punchin** : No offense, but you don't sound like you've got your head in the game.

 **noticarus*** : I don't fight with my head?

Why would I need it?

 **punchin** : You're right, my bad.

Forgot you never use it for anything.

 **wisegal** : @punchin!

That was rude!

 **punchin** : Sorry...

 **noticarus*** : Thank you Zelda! <3

 ** _notzelda_ °**: anyway @noticarus, enough simping

hope you'll be able to kick Ridley's butt again

cause if you do, I'll be your opponent

 **wildcard** : uh

u would kinda need to defeat @hero first tho?

 ** _notzelda_ °**: let's not kid ourselves here, I've been around since the og tournament

and just like you, he's a newbie

beating him will be a piece of cake

 **wildcard** : I

ok well, in that case

I sincerely hope you lose

 **hero*** : Thank you Ren.

 **wildcard** : u know you're gonna hand his butt to him El

I believe in you

with all my heart <3

* * *

_Public Chatroom_

_**mrmasterhand**_ : Attention everyone. A new tourney will commence.

First up: Link VS Eleven!

 **wildcard** : heck yeah! You go El! You're the best!

 **punchin** : Geez, why don't you just kiss him already?

 **wisegal** : hfdhvgsdkfg MAC!

 **wildcard** : ex-f*cking-cuse me? what's that supposed to mean?

 **girlmarth*** : Mac, be nice to him. He still hasn't realized.

_[A match has started! Challengers: Link VS Eleven]_

**wildcard** : realized what?!

 **punchin** : It's okay, Ren. We'll tell you when you're older.

 **wildcard** : we're the same age you butt!

anyways screw you, I'm watching the match go down

 **noodlearms** : Hey, wait a minute. What did you guys mean by all this?

 **girlmarth*** : By what, Min Min?

 **noodlearms** : The thing with Ren and Eleven? I know I'm out of the loop, but...

 **punchin** : Nah, don't worry, it's kind of an inside joke I guess.

 **noodlearms** : Oh, alright.

 **datbichywichy** : Oh dearie, if you're wondering if little Ren here has a crush, he absolutely does.

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Bayo, this is not exactly a private chat.

 **datbichywichy:** What, are you scared I might drop some more bombs, sweetheart?

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: I will not hesitate to mute you.

 **mygrampsarat** *: Oh heck, are we talking about Ren and El being one hundred percent gay for each other?

Because that's totally a thing.

 **toomanynames** *: Eight, come one, we talked about this.

 **mygrampsarat*** : The good people of Smash need to know the truth Solo!

 ** _notmetroid_ °**: Okay that's enough of that. I'm officially erasing this convo forever.

 **datbichywichy** : Party pooper.

 **punchin** : Aw.

 **girlmarth*** : I suppose we did take it too far. I apologize on me and my friends' behalf.

 **mygrampsarat** *: Dang Lucina, do you always have to be so formal?

_[MATCH SET!]_

**birb:** NO! I missed it! Something worthy of being censored went down and I missed it!

 **roseshavethorns** : Don't worry Kazooie. I was there. And screenshotted the whole thing.

( _birb_ and _prankey_ gave this a _Smash_!)

**starprincess** : Oh dear. (;-w-)

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Well, I tried.

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ : Results are in: the winner is... Eleven!

 **wildcard** : Heck yeah!

 **wisegal** : @notzelda I know you're probably sulking right now, but you still put up a good fight.

 **treehugger** : Not good enough of a fight it seems.

 **punchin** : Dang Cloud. Dang.

 **wisegal:** sdjhfsdj what's with you guys today?

 **wildcard** : @hero you were amazing.

 **toomanynames** *: You really were.

 **hero** *: Thanks you guys! But what was that deleted conversation all about?

 **wildcard** : NOTHING

um nothing, really

 **mygrampsarat** *: Yeah right. Nothing. Nothing at all.

This is sarcasm by the way.

 **hero** *: Okay...

 **wildcard** : listen, just, forget about it

 **roseshavethorns** : Yeah you go do that. I won't.

 **wildcard** : rosie I swear to god if you ever leak this I'll murder you

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ : Our next challengers... Pit VS Ridley!

 _ **metroid**_ °: Nice. I'll get to see that b*stard whimper in fear for a change.

 **datbichywichy** : I'm sure it will be a wonderful sight for you, dear.

 **miniboy** : There's no way Pit is going to lose this one! You go Pit!

 **punchin** : Uh, oh. Simp alert again.

 **wisegal** : MAC! sjhfsh please stop I can't take it anymore.

 **miniboy** : I'm... not even going to respond to that.

 **Tip** *: I'm betting one hundred Gold that Ridley won't even land a hit on Pit.

 **bigbad** : oh yeah? in that case I'm betting 200 on your twin getting beat up nicely

 **treehugger** : With Ridley being afraid of him?

 **defaking** : Afraid? Of this little twig of a boy? Are you kidding?

 **bigbad** : king k's right

ridley is cunning, he probably acted scared to throw all of you off

 **defaking** : Exactly! I'm betting 500G on Ridley making your twin into rotisserie chicken!

 _ **sens**_ °: yeah u guys are going to regret betting on this

_[A match has started! Challengers: Pit VS Ridley]_

_**notmetroid** _ **°** : Not only did Pittoo vouch for Pit for a change... but Ridley is cowering on the corner of the stage right now.

@Tip I hope you'll make good use of those 700Gs.

 **wisegal** : None of them have moved an inch yet.

 **mygrampsarat** *: This is kinda intense though.

 **punchin** : Is Pit just... frowning at him? What's he trying to accomplish?

 **sunchild:** You don't understand... Pit's frown is terrifying.

 **miniboy** : It absolutely is.

 **datbichywichy** : Finally! Some action!

 _**notmetroid** _ **°** : That clean hit he landed on Ridley was really satisfying.

 **datbichywichy** : I wouldn't call it clean but... it did hit the mark.

 **defaking** : Ha-ha! Ridley's about to make a move! It's over for the angel!

_[MATCH SET!]_

**treehugger** : Did

Did Ridley just

 **wildcard** : yup

 **wisegal:** He jumped. He just jumped.

 **bigbad** : this is... wow. just wow.

 **starprincess** : I have no words. (°_°)

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ : Results are in: the winner is... Pit!

 **miniboy** : YES!

 **sens** °: LMAO gg pit

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Good job Pit!

 **Tip** *: Told you he would not land a hit on him. Pay up, suckers. @bigbad @defaking

 **noticarus** *: Thanks guys! And @notzelda I beat my first opponent and you didn't!

That's a win for me!

 ** _notzelda_ °**: that's not how it works!!!

and you didn't beat him fair and square!

 **wildcard** : don't listen to him pit

u absolutely have him beat

just like El kicked Link's ass

good job!

 ** _notzelda_ °**: I hate all of you


	6. Orange You Glad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _If you squint really hard, you might find some metadede (Meta Knight/King Dedede) and chrobin (Chrom/Robin). But it's extremely tiny. Barely there. _

_Public Chatroom_

**moronlover** : Help.

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: What's up Robin?

 **moronlover** : Chrom is teaching the kids how to eat oranges.

He's already gotten Pit and the Inklings.

Oh no here comes Ness...

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Wait what's wrong with that?

 **girlmarth** *: Father's way of eating oranges is...

Particular. Unique.

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Meaning?

 **girlmarth** *: He does not peel them.

 **moronlover** : He got Richter too. No one is safe.

 **ambells** : I don't really understand what the problem is?

 **cakemom** : What do you mean, Isabelle?

 **donotcross** : Who peels oranges? You just eat' em raw, fresh from the trees. No steps needed.

 **roseshavethorns** : I know right?

Ugh what kind of uncivilized shtick is this.

 **mrstealurfood*** : Finally, some people with common sense.

 **batman** : Indeed.

 _ **notzelda**_ °: I agree.

 _ **poyo**_ °: hsgvfhs! :D

 **moronlover** : You people are all insane.

 **donotcross** : Must be a sad life, robbing yourself of that satisfying cronch.

 **moronlover** : I-

I have no words.

 **heretoruinu** : An orange without its peel is like... a warrior without an armor. It lacks taste and texture.

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Coming from you these words sound horrifying.

 **moronlover** : See, all of you? You're associating yourself with a murderer!

 **batman** : I've slained more foes than months you've lived. >:|

 **mrstealurfood** *: Whoa calm down there edgy-poo.

 **wisegal** : Honestly, I agree with Robin.

What the heck you guys.

 _ **notzelda**_ °: oh it's not that big of a deal

it gives a bit of a bitter aftertaste, but it's good

 **wisegal** : Link, no offense, but you're among the last people in the world I'd go to for advice on what to put in my mouth and eat.

 **waccawacca** : He is right though, it's not as bad as it sounds.

You shouldn't seek to conform to society's outdated standards.

 _ **sens**_ °: Watch out people, the master has spoken.

 **noodlearms** : tbh I was about to share my opinion.

But since I have never tried an orange with a peel, I cannot voice it

 **jojoreject*** : In that case Min Min why don't you go find Chrom?

He's in the north lounge, and the oranges he has are really good.

 **moronlover** : I beg of you, do not submit yourself to this.

You will regret this Min Min. I speak from experience.

 **wisegal** : Seconded.

 **jojoreject*:** To be honest I had never had an orange in my life before, but it tastes pretty good.

 **cakemom** : Oh no.

Richter you poor soul.

Your first orange and they make you eat it with the peel.

 **hiimdaisy** : it's a tragedy

 **herobrine** : What's an orange?

 **jojoreject*** : Hey Steve! May I ask if you eat your fruits with or without the peel?

 **herobrine** : I eat apples with the peel. Why?

 **jojoreject*** : Then do like Min Min and come find Chrom.

And you would be wise to do it quick, because I am afraid our little friend Kirby is very interested in those fruits.

 **moronlover** : This is a disaster.

I give up.

 **ryu** : Why are so many people in the north lounge?

And why are they eating oranges with the peel like some kind of cavemen?

 **cmon** : Scroll back up.

 **ryu** : It feels like I'm witnessing the remants of a post-apocalyptic world.

Then again, maybe Min Min is right to think the way she does. I have never tried an orange with the peel before...

 **noodlearms** : Don't. It's disgusting.

 **moronlover** : I tried to warn you.

 **donotcross** : Maybe you just bit into a bad orange? It happens.

 **woomy** : tbh I think its great! def recommend

 **moronlover** : Okay I've had enough.  
Time to leave you heathens alone.

 **dumbmarth** *: One day, Robin.  
One day you'll understand.


	7. Sliding In Your DMs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses on some _Meta Knight/Dedede in the second half._ ^^'  
>  _I couldn't help myself..._

_Public Chatroom_

**maniass** : @treehugger you really are weak.

 **ambells** : Will you stop harrassing him? :c

 **heretoruinu** : Isabelle, as naïve as ever.

 **iamspeed** : cloud isnt weak

hes strong as heck

 **maniass** : Really? Then why does he need to apply sunscreen when going to the beach?

 **hiimdaisy** : dude, everyone who needs to do that, does that

as princess of sarasaland I strongly encourage anyone to put suncreen on

 **maniass** : Only weaklings would need protection for the sun.

 **stillfeelingit** : Do you think you're stronger than the sun?

Does your genetic heritage help you against its rays?

 **booyah** : is that why u r pale af?

srsly wheres ur melatonin?

 **herobrine** : *melanin

 **booyah** : ?

 **herobrine** : It's melanin. Melatonin is to help you sleep.

 **woomy:** wait we been sayin it wrong this whole time? and no one said anything?!

 **starfox** : How do you know this melatonin thing helps you sleep?

 **herobrine** : Because I take it. To help me sleep at night.

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: Gimme. Please.

 **treehugger** : Listen here, Sephiroth.

 **maniass** : Yes?

 **treehugger** : Just wait, I'll think of something.

 **maniass** : Pathetic.

 **icyu** : Hey seph, can I braid your hair someday?

 **maniass** : Absolutely not, you brat.

 **icyu** : aw

 **woomy:** dang seph u really killed her with dat 'brat'

look at her shes bleeding out

my man ur not very nice r u? /s

 **maniass** : Why would I be nice to those who are beneath me?

 **woomy** : dat was sarcasm bro

read up on it

 **thesuperiorlink** : One time I thought I was drinking milk but it was actually coconut milk.

I never want to feel like I'm drinking sunscreen ever again.

 **thebestlink** : dude coconut milk is so good!

almond milk sucks though.

 _ **sens**_ °: what? almond milk is rad!

 **thebestlink** : no it tastes like the medication you take when you have a stomach ache

in other words it sucks

 _ **sens**_ °: you guys can keep your wrong opinions to yourselves

 **donotcross** : You eat trash burgers. Your opinions on food are invalid.

 _ **sens**_ °: come on! that was one time!

 **thesuperiorlink** : Guys cut the cheese.

Why is there an abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods?

 **woomy** : wat r u doin in the middle of the woods?

 **thesuperiorlink** : I just like to go there sometimes...

 **defnotzelda** : Must be an old dojo or something.

 **grandpa** : This is not on any plans though.

Not that I know of, at least.

 **donotcross** : This definitely seems like it could be a worthy opponent for the skeletons in the Mansion's basement.

 **snek** : The what now?”

 _ **falconpunch**_ ° There are no skeletons in the basement.

 **donotcross** : Have you ever been to the basement?

 _ **falconpunch**_ °: No?

 **donotcross** : How would you know then, wise guy?

 **heretoruinu** : An abandoned building, remote from most frequented places?

That information sure sounds interesting.

 _ **winner**_ **°*** : Great. As if a the existence of a that cabin was a not creepy enough already

 **defnotzelda** : Alright I know this is not the topic, but am I the only one who reads Ridley's username as “hetero in u?”

 **bidoofsarevalid** : I DO TOO

 _ **starfox**_ **°** : Oh cool I thought that was just me.

 **defnotzelda** : Oh, good.

 **mygrampsarat*** : Nice.

 **birb** : lmao

 **datbichywichy** : Honestly I think it's a universal experience.

 **waccawacca** : I never realized until y'all pointed it out.

 **moronlover** : “Time to bring out the hetero in you.”

( _defnotzelda_ , _dumbmarth_ and _15 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

_**mrmasterhand**_ : Good morning everyone, may have your attention for five minutes?

 **ambells** : Good morning Master Hand! :D

 _ **poyo°**_ : hhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

 **booyah** : make dat 3 and we hav a deal

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ : We have implemented some new features.

You may now officially create your own chatrooms, and make them private. _(Do note that Crazy and I will still be able to access them.)_

We have also added Direct Messages.

Of course, any abuse of these features will result in appropriate punishment.

( _datbichywichy, ambells_ and _31 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**donotcross** : Is that what happened to the skeletons in the basement?

( _thesuperiorlink, sens_ and _10 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**thebestlink** : remember guys, if the Hands or mods mute Vil or delete his messages, it means it's canon.

 **woomy** : hes ready 2 take one for the team 2 discover the truth

my hero

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ : No comments.

Either way, we hope you'll enjoy those newly added features. I wish you all a good day.

 **roseshavethorns** : I'm going to annoy you guys so bad.

 **booyah** : am going 2 block u so bad

 **roseshavethorns** : have some humor geez.

* * *

_Direct Messages – mrstealurfood;batman_

**mrstealurfood*** : Hey there you beautiful nuisance.

I have the pleasure to announce you are the first person I've messaged.

 **batman** : I feel honored, Your Majesty. :)

 **mrstealurfood*** : As you should.

So I have been thinking about something.

 **batman** : You? Thinking?

What's wrong? Are you feeling ill? :O

 **mrstealurfood*** : Why am I dating you?

Nothing is wrong, I have simply been wondering what to call you.

 **batman** : What do you mean? My name is Meta Knight. ;)

 **mrstealurfood*** : Will you quit it you borb?

Luigi told me how he and Daisy have pet names for each other.

And I've been wanting to try that with us.

You know, like, sweetie pie, cupcake. Things like that.

 **batman** : Do they have to be about sugary foods? :/

 **mrstealurfood*** : It is what I associate you with the most. Sugar plum.

 **batman** : I demand a divorce. :|

 **mrstealurfood*** : Meta Knight we are not even married.

 **batman** : Then let's.

 **mrstealurfood*** : Did you just propose to me?

 **batman** : I suppose I have. :)

What is your response?

 **mrstealurfood*** : Yes of course!

 **batman** : Then you may call me your fiancé. :*

* * *

_Public Chatroom_

**mrstealurfood** *: Attention everyone.

 **booyah** : whaddya want 3D?

 **mrstealurfood** *: I have an important announcement to make.

 **imnotrevalidangit** : oh d*mn

 **mrstealurfood** *: Meta Knight and I are now engaged.

( _kingkoopa, winner_ and _29 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**ambells** : For real? :D

 **cakemom:** Oh my gosh, congratulations!

 _ **mrvideogames**_ °: Congrats! And thank you for sharing the news!

 **birb** : GAY!

 **woomy** : yeah dats pretty gay ngl. n beautiful

 **starprincess** : This is such wonderful news! Congratulations! (((o(◕▽◕)o)))

 **kingkoopa** : I am so happy for you both!

 _ **winner**_ °: I'mma gonna cry!

 **kingkoopa** : I might cry as well!

 **daddysboy** : Dad no! You musn't show weakness!

 **waccawacca** : Guess we'll soon have to add you to the married gang, huh?

 **ryu** : Come to think of it, why don't we make our own “married people” chatroom.

 **moronlover** : That's a great idea Ken.

 _ **notmetroid**_ °: @batman that true?

 **batman** : It is true, indeed. :)

( _notmetroid, falconpunch_ and _32 other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

_**notmetroid**_ °: Congratulations!

 **sunchild** : Are you going to marry here or back home?

 **miniboy** : It would be so nice to have one here! And I'd be ready to help!

 **ambells** : Me too! ^w^

 **batman:** Hang on, let me ask my future husband.

 **hiimdaisy** : daaaaaw

 **mrstealurfood** *: If the Hands allow it, we might have our wedding here.

 _ **mrmasterhand**_ : I might just let you. It would indeed be quite nice to have a wedding taking place here.

( _batman, mrstealurfood_ and 36 _other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**ambells** : HECK YEAH! :D

 **starprincess:** Whoa Isabelle, you seem really pumped up about this. ^^'

 **donotcross:** She gets really passionate about events she may be able to help organize.

 _ **poyo**_ °: SKGVFZQIEYVHFILRZE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

 _ **mrvideogames**_ **°** : Kirby sure seems excited about it.

 _ **poyo**_ °: HHHHHHHHHHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

cakemom: Could I help make the cake? Or cakes?

 _ **winner**_ °*: May I a be... No forget about it.

 **mrstealurfood*** : Peach you're right on that plural. And Luigi, of course you'll be best man. We'll even have multiple, no need to go all boring traditional.

 **kingkoopa** : I like the way you think, 3D.

 **hiimdaisy** : aaaaand weegee is officially crying

( _batman, kingkoopa_ and 11 _other people_ gave this a _Smash!_ )

**treehugger** : Oh, congrats I guess.

Also @maniass I came up with something.

 **maniass** : Let us hear it, then.

 **treehugger** : I challenge you to spend the entire day under the sun. No sunscreen. No parasol. Nothing.

If you don't get sunburnt, I'll ask the Hands to remove the magic that keeps you away from me for a day.

 **maniass** : A certainly acceptable challenge. That will be much easy to win.

 **roseshavethorns** : peeps prepare ur phones.

I want as many pics of sunburnt sephiroth as I can get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may change Sephiroth's username in the future. For the time being it's kinda a joke that sorta has to do with the lyrics of his theme song.


	8. [User List]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just the list of the character's names + their nicknames  
> I tried to put the nicknames in alphabetical order.  
> But feel free to tell me if you think another way to organize that stuff would be better.

**_OG Smash_ **

Pikachu (datonepokémon)

Captain Falcon (falconpunch)

Mario (mrvideogames)

Donkey Kong (notaking)

Samus (notmetroid)

Link (notzelda)

Kirby (poyo)

Fox (starfox)

Ness (sens)

Yoshi (theyosh)

Luigi (winner)

Jigglypuff (zzz)

**_Melee_ **

Peach (cakemom)

Pichu (chupi)

Sheik (defnotzelda)

Mewtwo (electricboogaloo)

Mr. Game & Watch (grandpa)

Nana (icyu)

Falco (imnotrevalidangit)

Bowser (kingkoopa)

Ganondorf (koking)

Dr. Mario (mrvideogames2)

Marth (ogmarth)

Roy (ourboi)

Young Link (thesuperiorlink)

Zelda (wisegal)

Popo (2cool4u)

**_Brawl_ **

Meta Knight (batman)

Wolf (bigbad)

Ike (buffmarth)

Wario (garlicman)

Ivysaur (greenwithit)

Sonic (iamspeed)

Charizard (litzard)

King Dedede (mrstealurfood)

Pit (noticarus)

Olimar (pikminmaster)

Diddy Kong (prankey)

Snake (snek)

Red (soundofsilence)

Lucario (stopcallingmegoku)

Lucas (sunchild)

Toon Link (thebestlink)

R.O.B. (thesavior)

Squirtle (tuddle)

_**Sm4sh** _

Mii Brawler (catchthesehands)

Corrin (corn)

Bowser Jr. (daddysboy)

Bayonetta (datbichywichy)

Duck Hunt (doge)

Villager Boy (donotcross)

Lucina (girlmarth)

Greninja (iwant2beninja)

Wii Fit Trainer M (justdoit)

Ryu (ken)

Palutena (literalgoddess)

Mega Man (miniboy)

Robin (moronlover)

Little Mac (punchin)

Wii Fit Trainer F (ringfitislit)

Villager Girl (roseshavethorns)

Mii Gunner (sansational)

Rosalina (starprincess)

Shulk (stillfeelingit)

Mii Swordfighter (studiedtheblade)

Dark Pit (tip)

Cloud (treehugger)

Pac-Man (waccawacca)

**_Ultimate_ **

Isabelle (ambells)

Banjo (bearwithme)

Simon (belmontsbizarrequest)

Leaf (bidoofsarevalid)

Kazooie (birb)

Inkling Boy (booyah)

Terry (cmon)

King K. Rool (defaking)

Chrom (dumbmarth)

Arusu (erdrickroll)

Ridley (heretoruinu)

Luminary (hero)

Steve (herobrine)

Daisy (hiimdaisy)

Richter (jojoreject)

Incineroar (litkit)

Sephiroth (maniass)

Eight (mygrampsarat)

Alex (roblox)

Ken (ryu)

Byleth (suckitup)

Solo (toomanynames)

Dark Samus (unphazon)

Piranha Plant (weed)

Joker (wildcard)

Inkling Girl (woomy)

**Other**

Master Hand (mrmasterhand)

Crazy Hand (troublemaker)


End file.
